• jodiemalkin

Do you measure your worth by the number on your scales?

Ok, so this post is coming straight from my catalogue of personal experience.

Now for those who don't know me and those that do - I have, for most of my life been blessed with a slim to athletic build and for the greater part, actually been happy with my body and it's capacity to function in a myriad of different pursuits. I don't believe in diets or cheat days and am of the opinion that most things in life are fine when enjoyed in moderation.

BUT, there was a time I started to believe in someone else's perception of me based on the number on the scales and no, it wasn't ok.

So let me take you to my early 20's. Life was great. I'd recently purchased my first home, had a fantastic and diverse social group, was working in several industries with some really interesting people I had great connections with and pretty much just felt like I was LIVING THE DREAM. At the time I had a boyfriend who was very superficial and had a great fixation on how people looked, dressed and acted.

Now when we were dating I managed to brush off the majority of his judgemental comments, but when we moved in together down the track, the persistency of it started to wear me down. The biggest problem was his fixation with weight and would often ask 'How much you weighing today Jo?'

Initially I'd just tell him to mind his own business. I felt it was a stupid question because, it wasn't like I was fat - at 170cm tall and only weighing 54kg put my BMI on the border of the underweight and healthy category. But you know, being around someone who consistently asks you 'how much you are weighing' on a regular basis either daily or weekly over a long-term, started to mess with my head and I began to wonder what was wrong with my body? - clearly there was something I couldn't see wrong with it?

The worst thing about it all was that I started to weigh myself MORE!

Most of you are probably aware that numbers can fluctuate considerably, especially for women and this regular weighing exacerbated the perception of my body and self-worth even further. Now thankfully my love for food was too great and I didn't get anorexia, bulimia, go on a diet or get any other sort or eating disorder but I certainly was struggling with my self-esteem and the new body image that was created in my head.

What next? Well eventually I left that relationship, but the imprint stayed in my mind. It took quite a while to shift beyond it, and for years after, any time I stepped onto a set of scales I could still hear his voice asking 'how much you weighing today Jo?'

So the best thing I did was throw out my scales and haven't owned a set since because in that moment I decided it didn't matter how heavy or light I was, my worth couldn't be measured by how much I weighed.

I either choose to feel good about myself or I don't - end of story.

On the odd occasion when we have crossed paths in subsequent years, he still feels the need to ask me 'how much you weighing these days?' and honestly after all these years the sad thing is that he can't see beyond that. I have come to realise that this is just him and based purely around his insecurities of weight and low self-worth.

There are various aspects I forgot about myself during this time, so I want to remind and reassure you, the next time you feel the need to jump on the scales that YES they will show you a number but they certainly won't tell you important things like:

* What an amazing person YOU are

* That YOU are kind, smart, funny & unique in ways no number can define

* How much your friends and family love YOU

* That YOU have the power to choose happiness

* YOU and only YOU are in charge of you self-worth!

So I urge you - don't give your power away. Ditch the scales, and find ways to LOVE YOURSELF in all your magnificence, because you really are sensational 💖

40 views0 comments